Stinky Sweater Story

I am wearing my favorite lemon-green sweater. Craig keeps telling me I need to throw it away and here's why:

It's a few months ago and I am wearing my favorite pink-striped pj bottoms, t-shirt and green sweater. For some reason I decide that I need something in the cupboard above my fridge, so I rearrange some items, including this pot of used frying oil that is sitting on top of the fridge. Why is it there you ask? Because Craig likes to make home-made french fries and then he leaves the oil in the pot for FOREVER. I got tired of it and moved it to its present location.

So, I retrieve my wanted item, but not before moving the Fry Daddy to the very front of the fridge area and forget to move it back to the back where it was. Then I think I need something in the freezer, so I open the door, and lo and behold, the entire pot of used, nasty, stinky vat of oil comes raining down on my head. I scream. Oil is everywhere! I am drenched in it, it is sooo gross!

My first thought is about my new hardwood floors, and so I get a few thousand towels and start soaking up the grease. When that chore is done, I must mop, so I go searching for the mop. Well, Craig had removed the mop head and I can't find it, so I find the old mop, it is gangly to be sure. I decide that a quick way to get the mop head wet, is to reach over the bar with it, and then I can turn on the sink without having to walk over the smeared oily floor, great plan? NO!

Instead, the mop knocks my glass fruit off of the bar which then smashes down onto said hardwood floor and 2 of them break into a million pieces. So now I am covered in oil, barefoot, and have shards of glass all over my living room. Needless to say, I am not a happy mama.

Well, I finally get both messes cleaned up, got myself cleaned up, and get the clothes in the washer. But, does the smell come out? NO! Let me tell you that used french fry cooking oil is so stinky, it will cling to every fiber of your favorite sweater and refuse to come out. I have since washed the sweater like umpteen thousand times, and it still reeks.

I read online that if you freeze stinky items and wash them, that the bad smells will go away, NOT TRUE! I froze my sweater two different times for days at a time, and still they reek! Actually the smell has improved, but not enough for Craig's olfactory senses, he kicks me out of bed if I have the sweater on and I wear my sweater all the time. Maybe that is why he got me a new sweater for Christmas?